Moments ago, BbO suggested the above films as possibilities when I added Rashômon to my queue.
They are so deeply out of whack I had to laugh. Pegging One Night at McCool’s as being at all similar to a black-and-white Japanese classic is like recommending that those who loved Cidade de Deus give Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo a rent.
They silly.
P.S. I don’t know what the hell the deal is with the narrow margins.
I’m thinking about starting a new category of posts: “I Call Bullshit.” Crude, perhaps, but there’s no other way to describe some of the wankery being foisted upon the general public these days.
Take “Your Credit Card Companies.” In today’s “Newsweek”, they have a message for you:
click image to enlarge
Put another way: “it’s not us, it’s you.” Yes, despite ChoicePoint’s recent sale of private data to a criminal front organization, Citi’s loss of 3.9 million accountholders’ personal data, and the theft of untold account numbers from CardSystems, a company that wasn’t supposed to be keeping the data anyway, Your Credit Card Companies would like you to know that it’s more often your own damn fault for not watching your purse, wallet, or mailbox.
Not to worry, though: Your Credit Card Companies are “proactive”, which in this case means they’ll check your credit report when you apply! Amazing! If there’s a “fraud or victim alert” on your account, they’ll even call you directly.
Of course, they’d rather you not think too hard about how that alert is supposed to get there. While all card issuers have fraud detection measures, Your Credit Card Companies (and Their Credit Bureaus) don’t give you any way to help them work — unless you’re willing to pay, of course. Shell out for services such as MBNA PrivacyAssist ($9.99/mo) or Equifax CreditWatch Gold ($9.95/mo) and you can at least see your credit reports, a definite improvement.
Still, even with your $100+/yr investment, it would be smart to watch your mailbox. Their nebulous “privacy” services won’t do anything to staunch the flow of pre-approved applications, convenience checks, and all number of solicitations for new financial products.
Though this ad mentions your mailbox, it conveniently omits the main reason it’s a danger: the companies themselves. The truth is this is an idustry that has shown itself woefully incapable of self-regulation. If we’re to get serious about identity “theft” (I prefer the term “impersonation”), we’re going to need new laws, new practices, and new tools. I have some ideas for those, which I’ll share in a subsequent post, but I’m not holding my breath. We might need to wait for a few members of Congress to fall victim to fraudulent transactions before we’ll see real change.
Congress has made a few baby steps in the right direction, however. The Fair Credit Reporting Act “requires each of the nationwide consumer reporting companies to provide you with a free copy of your credit report, at your request, once every 12 months.” (Available now in most states; everywhere from 1 Sep ’05.) By staggering your requests, it’s possible to keep a fairly close eye on your credit reports.
It’s also a great idea to opt out of “pre-approved” credit and insurance offers. Visit OptOutPreScreen.com and fill out the form. I recommend “permanent” removal, which has resulted in a nice decrease in mail around here. (If you ever start to feel as though your current credit card is not up to snuff, you can always use comparison services such as BankRate.com to find a new one.)
Through these simple steps, you’ll be at least better equipped to hang on until that glorious day when Your Credit Card Companies realize that mailboxes and databases are in fact two separate things — and they both need protecting.
Taken from An Open Letter to the Kansas School Board, which also explains the importance of His Noodly Appendage, a phrase that still makes me laugh every time I read it…
The folks in India’s “Bollywood,” home to the world’s largest film industry (by output, not revenue) are up in arms over new health regulations banning smoking in films and television. The new guidelines, to take effect from 1 August, also make allowances for older movies: cigarette packs must be electronically masked, and a health message must scroll at the bottom of the screen during smoking scenes.
As India can’t enforce these requirements on imported films, they will instead require foreign exhibitors to get a special rating from the Censor Board.
Upon hearing this news, I was going to comment that our own rating system, while moronic in its own special ways, isn’t quite so extreme as to screen for something so common. Then the last DVD I watched opened with this:
So I’ll just shut up now.
From Spain’s lawmakers legalize gay marriage comes this photo and cutline:
A man dances celebrating on the day the Spanish parliament legalized gay marriage during a gay street party in Chueca, the gay area of Madrid, Thursday, June 30, 2005. (Jasper Juinen / AP)
Shirtless guy, check. Guy with questionable shoulder bag, check. Guy with questionable, skirt-like leg covering, check. Rainbow flag, check. Gay marriage, street (?), area, check, check, check.
¿Cómo se dice stereotype en Español?
Previously, I looked at Google Maps and noticed the top of the White House was altered, for security reasons. In Google Earth, the image looks the same, which is not surprising as they both draw from the same data.
But this puzzles me:
This is the same image of the White House, this time in Google Earth (larger screenshot, placemark) with a tilt and “extrude buildings” enabled.
As you can see, the 3-D model is a pretty good likeness, which makes me wonder: how is that possible? A recent Slashdorks article said Google was building a laser-equipped truck to scan buildings (and included a link to this fascinating project at Berkeley) but even if such a truck were in the wild, I don’t think they’d let it drive around the grounds of the White House.
Which leaves a few options: either there’s some kick-ass photogrammetry going on, or there are some other datasets in play here.
In any case, I’m fascinated.
Update [Thu 00:18]: Check out these cool placemarks. Not strictly related, but still cool.
HAVE DISCOVERED GOOGLE EARTH STOP
AM IN FREAKIN AWE OF ABILITY TO FLY AROUND EARTH IN FLUID FASHION STOP
I FEAR AM BECOMING ADDICTED AND WILL NEED TO TRAVEL AGAIN SOON STOP
SEND HEL
signal lost
That’s a small investment if you’re Tom Cruise, who now demands $20 million per movie, or some of the other marquee names affiliated with the church, including actors John Travolta and his wife, Kelly Preston, Kirstie Alley and Jason Lee, musicians Beck, Lisa Marie Presley and Chick Corea, and Fox News anchor Greta Van Susteren. — Missionary Man
Beck’s a Scientologist? Why wasn’t I told? Not that I really care about the man, but he always sort of amused me. Now I’m seeing him in a whole new light. (And I’ve always like Jason Lee.)
By the way, is it just me or did LRH just have a whole Bond villian thing going? Originally I had him pegged as sitting around with some of his writer buddies making a bet on who could start a religion, but that was before I knew about the yacht:
Check out the seal on that puppy (bigger pic) — can’t you just picture Ronny sitting in there, stroking a cat and purring “the volcanoes will erupt soon, my pet…” Fine, it probably wasn’t around when Hubbs was, but I still can totally imagine him on it.
Even the ship’s stated purpose — the isolation of followers to receive the highest level of training — sounds creepy.
Evading jurisdictions, anyone?
Regard the following DVD covers:
The left one is from Blockbuster Online, where it’s listed as “Eating Out [Edited Cover]“. Oddly, this is the only title in all of BbO that carries the “edited cover” designation. It’s not an edited version, mind you, just a different cover. Why they feel the need to edit this particular cover — or really, any at all, considering the store is online and DVDs are shipped in generic white sleeves anyway — is not clear. (This, by the way, is the enlarged version you have to click to see. The version shown in a title list is even smaller.)
The cover on the right — which matches the Amazon version — is from…Blockbuster Online. Except this one, they’re selling.
So, in summary, their policy seeems to be: “this cover is too racy for us to show you, unless you’re thinking of pre-ordering it, in which case here you go.”
On Tuesday,
I replied that I didn’t mind low-key product placement, but I draw the line at overt stuff such as “C’mon, Phoebe, you know you’re interested in trying the new, calorie-free Coca-Cola Zero, aren’t you?”
I meant it to be a comical exaggeration, but today I learned that for Lindsay Lohan it’s just business as usual:
In an era when on-screen advertising is routine — even unobtrusive when done well — the makers of “Herbie” use every opportunity to stick a parade of Cheetos, Pepsi, Dupont, etc. in your face.
Not only is this supremely distracting, but Disney’s hyper-marketing even slows the dialogue as actors struggle to say such things as “Nextel Cup Series” as if they’re reading off cue cards held by stern-looking corporate lawyers.
— ‘Herbie’ is loaded all right, with product placements (via StudioBriefing)
For shame! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to enjoy the crisp, refreshing taste of a Cool-Ranch Pepsi.
As [Tom Cruise] left Manhattan’s Essex House Hotel, he was mobbed by a throng of screaming teenage girls, who snapped pictures and asked for his autograph.
Then he joined Holmes in a black AMC Yukon SUV and drove off to tape an appearance on “Entertainment Tonight.”
— Scientology query nearly starts War over the Words (emphasis in the original)
The sheer chutzpah of the MPAA never ceases to amaze. On Monday, they issued a press release: “Southern Cal. High Tech Task Force Stamps Out Illegal DVD/CD Replicating Plant in Los Angeles” [pdf] in which they crow:
Los Angeles –The Motion Picture Association of America, Inc. (MPAA) and the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) in coordination with the Southern California High Tech Task Force have closed New Century Media in the City of Industry, California. The investigation and seizure of $30 million in illegal stampers and DVDs was a result of findings from another raid at a replicating plant nearby where illegal DVDs produced at New Century Media were recovered. The plant was closed for illegal business on June 15 but no arrests have been made.
Isn’t that interesting? They seized $30m in booty, shut down the plant, yet made no arrests?
Turns out the MPAA isn’t telling the whole story, at least as Jennifer Yu, co-founder/owner (along with her husband) of New Century Media tells it. According to Yu, her company is a legit business which:
So how do we reconcile a $30m seizure with $25,540? Is this Enron-style accounting? Well, yes, after a fashion: according to an LAT follow-up, “the MPAA in its new statement did not retract the $30-million figure but explained that it came up with the number by estimating the value of the DVDs seized during the raid as well as the value of DVDs that could be produced using the equipment.” [emphasis added]
Got that? They made it up. It’s not wholesale value, it’s not market value, it’s potential value: basically, pure crap. It’s the logical equivalent of police shutting down an ammunition factory and claiming they saved 200,000 lives.
Sadly, this sort of spin is par for the course.
Ever since dumping MBNA, I’ve done business mostly with Citibank, but now I’m regretting even that. First the overzealous fraud department has called me six separate times over a $15 monthly charge (the hosting for this site, actually.) Each time they promise they’ll make a note in the file, etc., etc. then suddenly I find I can’t pay at the pump because they’ve fucked up again and are freezing the account.
It gets worse. I haven’t been able to sign in to the account online site since an “upgrade” over a month ago. I pay everything I can by EFT, and in fact last wrote an actual check on my checking account in 1996, so this is more than a little annoying. As was the tech support jockey, who hurried me off the phone with an annoyed instruction to just re-register the card as if I was activating it for the first time.
Which I tried, just a few moments ago, and failed. Failed twice, actually. The second time was because of some unknown failure, but the first was for something even dumber: an unacceptable password. Citibank defines an unacceptable password in a jaw-droppingly broad way, including:
Citibank Vulgar Language Policy
The Citibank Vulgar Language Policy prohibits User IDs or Passwords containing language that:
- Is sexually explicit, vulgar or obscene.
- Is racially or ethnically offensive.
- Exploits a minor (any person under the age of 18).
- Defames, abuses or threatens physical harm or death to others or oneself.
- Represents violence.
We reserve the right to delete User IDs that contain any language contrary to the policy above at any time without consent or warning. A new User ID will then have to be created to access Account Online. Determination of whether there has been a violation of the policy, and whether any action is warranted, is made at our sole discretion. We also reserve the right to make changes to these guidelines at anytime, and you agree to be bound by any changes. Please check periodically for updates.
Got that? If your 6-32 character password contains “vulgar” language, by their definition (which they reserve the right to change without notice), then they’ll kill your account.
Which is a bummer, because right now Death2theCitiFuckers is seeming about right…
P.S. For the record, my pass wasn’t vulgar. I think it was getting mad because I was using my initials (shock!) but due to their cluelessly vague error message, I’ll never know…
I’ve noticed a subtle change in the obligatory FBI warning featured on DVDs lately.
There’s a new official seal and text:
Warning: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000.
Notice anything new? Here’s the classic text to jog your memory:
There are two changes: one is that the new seal/text is generic, making no mention of the type of media (the new seal will also be used on games and other works) but the far more interesting change is the “without monetary gain” clause.
Clearly, someone wants to put those who rip and share on notice that even if they don’t make any money from the duplication, the FBI could still come knocking.
That is, if they actually had the time to visit several million Internet users.
Last night as I was driving back to my bed I saw what seemed to be a huuuuuge moon hanging impossibly low in the sky. I was sure it had to be some sort of billboard or something similar — it was way too large and bright to be the real thing.
Today I learned from NASA (via Kottke) that I saw the Summer Moon Illusion.
Still not quite sure what caused the effect, but good to know I’m not crazy.
