Dear Sir/Madam:

Last Monday, I was on United flight 1146 from Calgary (YYC) to Chicago (ORD). I enjoyed the flight (apart from the cringe-inducing performance by Jimmy Fallon in ‘Taxi’) and commend the crew for managing an arrival substantially ahead of schedule.

I was, however, a bit put off by how the female flight attendant chose to usher us off the plane. Her decision to end the standard “Welcome to Chicago” message with “god bless” made me uncomfortable.

No doubt she meant well, but this sort of religious sentiment really has no place on a major carrier such as United.

I’m sure I need not tell you that the flight was no doubt made up of those from many faiths, as well as those who choose to live their lives based upon proven facts. I know United recognizes this diversity when even this feedback form includes an impressively extensive list of titles, including non-Christian ones such as “Imam”, “Swami”, and “Rabbi”.

Given this range of worldviews, I hope in the future United will leave the religious messages for those who wish to hear them, and instead encourage their cabin crew to focus on what they should be doing best: providing customer service.

Thanks for your time.

Respectfully,

John S. Perkins

A recent conversation I had with the folks at MBNA, the nation’s largest credit card issuer:

She: How may I help you today?
I: I’d like to cancel my MBNA MasterCard.
She: I’m sorry to hear that, sir. Did you have a reason?
I: Yes.
(…pause…)
She: Uh, may I ask what it is?
I: Certainly. In the last 6 election cycles, MBNA and its employees have been the number one campaign donors in the financial sector, always more than 70% to the GOP. Your company gives too much money to Republicans, and I don’t want to be a part of that.
(… l-o-n-g pause …)
I: Hello?
She: Uh, yes I’m still here.
I: There isn’t anything in the script for that, huh?
She: No, no there sure isn’t.
I: Great. Well why don’t you just take care of that cancellation and mail me a confirmation, okay?
She: I’ll do that, sir. Thanks for calling MBNA.

To bypass the menu tree and contact MBNA cancellation directly, dial (800) 336-2974.