Let’s return now to our sporadic series celebrating foreign athletes — just the ticket for when technology’s got ya down. So let’s see, we’ve had English football player David Beckham, and French rugby star Frederic Michalak (with skater Josh Wald.) Perhaps it’s time for a Swede?
Sure, Fredrik (“Freddie”) Ljungberg, midfielder for Arsenal, has been the face of CK for awhile now, but that doesn’t mean we don’t still appreciate him.
Quick, guess what’s taking place when this picture was taken:
Give up? It’s Jeff, a contestant on Survivor 10. He’s making a point to another player about which girl he thinks should be voted out. Fair enough, but the weird part is that right in the middle of this (boring) speech, rather then getting a reaction shot from the other guy, the camera operator just decides to slowly pan down Jeff’s body.
The best way I can describe it is the camera is checking him out. (It’s almost the visual equivalent of the “uh-huh” nod as your mind — or eye — wanders.) You have to wonder what was going through the cameraperson’s mind. Sure, Jeff was moving his hands a little bit, but he was hardly making a point. Also, if you watch the cutting of the scene, there appear to be at least two cameras in use (I wonder how many they have on those islands?) so even if the photographer was just thinking “I wonder if he’s going to do anything with his hands”, they could have cut to the other camera for the shot when it didn’t pan out.
That assumes, of course, that they were not looking for pure beefcake shots, which they totally are. In fact, the CBS lineup last Thursday deserves a special mention for being a big tease. First there was this “Survivor” episode, then somebody called a “CSI” character gay. (Gil? Could it be?)
Incidentally, gratuituous skin shots aside, there seems to be a growing number of examples lately where the procedurals (“Law & Order”, “CSI”, etc.) are adding a touch of humanization to their storylines. Where before it was all case all the time, now we’re seeing some “my father was violent”, “have I been fired because I’m a lesbian” and other personal revelations from the characters.
Or maybe I’m just reading way too much into things, as usual.
Guess the networks were having a gay ol’ time this weekend: three characters coming out on “Simpsons” and “Housewives”. Uh, I mean that’s what I heard. Personally, after a long day at the soup kitchen, I prefer to close out my Sunday in my smoking jacket, perusing that dog-eared favorite copy of The Illiad, my faithful hound at my feet.
Riiiight. Anyway, throw in the lesbian kisses I didn’t see (on such shows as “The O.C.”, “One-Tree Hill”, “Wife Swap” (!)) and you’d almost think it was sweeps. Oh, hang on: it is.
Bummer the 3 characters I saw are all sort of jerks, though.
Ok, I am currently the #1 result on MSN for Josh Wald. And #2 for sexy-ass pictures. [Update: MSN is a fickle mistress.] So since the clock is running down, let’s just cop out tonight and see if we can’t make good on both.
Here’s Josh again, wearing more than last time:
And here’s French rugby player Frederic Michalak:
Apparently the French rugby team shoots this calendar every year in the nude, then they make a book (with a US version) and a movie (US versions: 2004, 2005) about it. What a fucking great tradition. In other news, I’m totally developing a thing for that sort of tattoo. (Remember Brad Pitt’s hand in Ocean’s 11? Niiice….)
I know, I know, I’m turning into some sort of weird amalgam of policy discussion/political rants, technology, and racy images. But what can I say? It’s Val’s Day. Humor me.
P.S. I still think MSN (in general) is poo.
Last year, even though I was lax in updating, this site got in excess of half a million hits. A big portion of that is people who, for some reason, can tolerate my blather on the random topic of the day. For that I thank them!
But there is also another group, a much quieter and less loyal segment. Let’s see if we can guess what they’re after by taking a glimpse at some of yesterday’s top search words:
#reqs: search term
-----: -----------
28: hot guy
23: sexy guy
9: sexy ass
7: david beckham
7: hot guy pics
5: cute guy
3: sexy beckham
3: hot guy pictures
3: david beckham bed
1: gigolo 2 bittorrent[...]
Don’t worry, I’m going to block the IP of that last wacko. But you see what I mean. These people crave their cute sexy-ass hot guys, preferably David Beckham (and if a bed’s involved so much the better!)
So for these poor, underserved souls, I present skater Josh Wald (liberated from here):
Faceless masses, feast your eyes on that face, those abs, that tattoo.
For the rest of you, I’ll be less gay tomorrow. Peace.
Last year, Fox introduced a show called “Playing it Straight,” in which a “sweet, innocent Midwestern girl” appears on a “Bachelorette”-style show, only to learn that some of the 14 males vying for her affections are, in fact, gay. If, in the final episode, she picks one of these men, he walks away with $1 million. If she picks a breeder, they split the dough.
The show was even worse than it sounds (truly, truly bad — especially the woman), but in the manner of that old Woody Allen joke*, I got hooked after the first few episodes. What can I say: there were a few cuties in the cast, and I wanted to know if they played for my team or not.
So what does that have to do with the Internet? Well, I actually watched the show from Australia, a feat made possibly by BitTorrent. But that’s not such a big deal anymore. The twist is that Fox cancelled the show after 3 episodes. (At first it looked like they might “burn off” the rest sometime in the summer, but they never did, despite vague promises that they would “certainly provide any viewer that needs the information with the information of the conclusion.”)
BitTorrent to the rescue, again: a few months later, a viewer who saw the whole series when it aired in Israel created a package of the remaining episodes. I was able to snag it and learn who was who. It was a nice example of the “global economy” working for the little guy for a change.
Now Fox wants to see if it will work for the big guys: two weeks ago, they began offering all the episodes online for $2/pop. It’s interesting to see a broadcaster dip its toes into the pay-per-view market. I hope in a later post to take a look at some of the economics involved in going that route — from a broadcaster perspective. From an invididual perspective, let me save you the time: the series isn’t worth shelling out two bucks, much less per episode.
* “The food was terrible — and such small portions!”
Update [4 Feb 05]: NBC’s testing the download approach as well..
After yesterday’s despair, today’s reality check — with a dose of humor.
It’s encouraging to see that Congress does not seem interested in taking up the amendment any time soon, and some zealots are even predicting failure. Example: John Feehery, House Speaker Dennis Hastert’s spokesperson (whom I last heard on NPR mouthing platitudes about why the 9/11 investigation should not be given more time) said “sometimes you win for losing.”
I also respect the restraint of those Republicans who, whatever their feelings on the issue, think that amending the Constitution is not appropriate — and should always be a last resort. It’s more common than I expected, coming even from former Georgia congressman Bob Barr, the thrice-married author of the Defense of Marriage Act. (Barr says: “The Constitution is no place for forcing social policy on states, especially in this case.”)
But the best lines probably come from ol’ Bill Maher, whose take on the issue concludes as follows:
Well, you know what: Sometimes “most Americans” are wrong. Where’s the Democrat who will stand up and go beyond the half measures of “civil union” and “hate the sin, love the sinner,” and say loud and clear: ‘There IS no sin, and homosexuality is NOT an abomination’ — although that Boy George musical Rosie O’Donnell put on comes close. The only thing abominable about being gay is the amount of time you have to put in at the gym.
But that aside, the law in this country should reflect that some people are just born 100 percent outrageously, fabulously, undeniably Fire Island gay, and that they don’t need re-programming. They need a man with a slow hand.
It was really tough for me today. I awoke and learned our President had called for an amendment to the Constitution to prevent people like me from getting married.
Logically, I’m unshaken in my belief that future generations will look back on this with the same kind of uncomprehending wonder that we now have for those who railed against “mixed” marriages, or women voters. But that doesn’t help me emotionally, when I feel physically ill-at-ease, roiled up at the notion of what this man is doing — and what’s more, of all the people who helped. Silly as it sounds, I found it difficult to believe that someone worked to tape and (badly) encode the speech for the webcast, someone (else?) prepared the Web site to announce it, the Press Secretary defended it… all in support of this hateful message.
I’m not so out of touch as to believe that there aren’t people who fear and loathe gay people, even to the point of violence. The thing that shocks me is they would be willing to do violence to the Constitution itself, a document so vibrant and precious that I believe it serves not only as the foundation upon which this great nation was built, but indeed as a manifestation of the best parts of human nature and our common desire to live free.
By acting as he did, the President signalled he thinks differently. I’m saddened to hear it.
I’ve been doing a lot of research on Vancouver lately, and I’ve discovered several interesting facts about the city that claims to be #3 in North American film production.
None of these discoveries are quite as odd as this little navigational element I found on the Tourism Vancouver site:
That would be the flags of France, Germany, Japan, and, well… gay pride.
I’m not sure what to make of this positioning. Of course, I applaud the prominence the city gives to its diverse populations, though it’s hardly unique. But wouldn’t one be correct to assume that as far as this site is concerned, gays speak another language?
Two judgments:
Freedom extends beyond spatial bounds. Liberty presumes an autonomy of self that includes freedom of thought, belief, expression, and certain intimate conduct.
— Justice Kennedy, in the majority opinion
Many Americans do not want persons who openly engage in homosexual conduct as partners in their business, as scoutmasters for their children, as teachers in their children’s schools, or as boarders in their home. They view this as protecting themselves and their families from a lifestyle that they believe to be immoral and destructive.
— Justice Scalia, in his dissent
Two reactions:
We’re living in the Castro in San Francisco while renovations on our house are completed. As anyone who has driven through this neighborhood knows, at Market and Castro there is a huge Gay Pride flag that flies every day of the year. Huge — maybe the largest flag I have ever seen.
I was out of town on the day of the decision. But I am told that the day after Lawrence was decided, the Gay Pride flag came down. An American flag was raised in its place.
It was an extraordinary moment that said more about the importance of this decision than any commentary ever could.
— Professor Lawrence Lessig, on his site at Stanford Law School
“I absolutely do, of course I do.”
— Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, R-Tenn., when asked whether he supported a Constitutional amendment that would ban any marriage in the United States except a union of a man and a woman
David Beckham has been “sold” to Real Madrid for £25 million, which is huge news, unless 1) you live in the United States and 2) you’re using it as a pretense to put his picture on your Web site.
For some, marketing to the gay and lesbian community is a tricky task. You want to engender that fabled brand loyalty, but of course not be perceived as a “gay brand.” (The horror!) In the quest, there are those who get it right, those who get it wrong, and those who just don’t get it.
Bridgestone falls squarely in this last category with these totally weird banner ads:
I don’t think they’re stereotypical (but “accessorize”?) so much as cluelessly half-assed, with hilarious results: click the ad and notice the gay-friendly appeal consists of one tortured sentence and two guys/girls just sitting on tires.
Sitting on tires! It makes me laugh every time.
Note: these ads ran on PlanetOut.com, and are presented solely for purposes of criticism. For more gay-targeted advertising, visit CommercialCloset.org.
Well, there’s that mystery solved. If you’re wondering who allowed the folks at OhGhurl.com to use such a horrendous domain name, the answer is: WebGuyForHire.com.
Yeah, okay, I know you weren’t really wondering. But this site is just too precious not to mention. The broken image on the home page is merely a taste of the delights that await on the Portfolio page (slogan: “pride breeds excellance.” Bwahahaha.)
Under the heading “Our Esteemed Work,” there’s this little gem:
Where’s the work?
Admittedly, there is not a lot of work in our portfolio right now. The problem being is most of us are fresh out of working full time for employers. We felt that since they paid us full time salaries to work there, it would not be fair to showcase those efforts here in our portfolio.We can, however once we talk to you show you some of the things we have done in the past. Also, we feel pretty sure that once you talk to us, you will understand the degree of knoweledge we posess.
Not to be snarky, but I think I have a pretty good idea just what degree of knowledge they possess.
Well, it had to happen: there’s now a Netflix for (gay) porn. It’s called OhGhurl.com, and it’s hilariously bad.
First there’s that name, which is perhaps the worst domain name ever. Then there’s the fact that there’s no easy way to tell what it costs*. (How can you budget for your monthly porn bill if you have to provide your e-mail address just to get an estimate?) In the interest of journalism, I even tried clicking the “Live Support” link… to be greeted with a pop-up telling me it wasn’t available.
All of that means this is definitely amateur hour, but that’s nothing compared to the great testimonials in the right-hand column. I found myself re-loading the same page just to get a look at more. Two of the best:
Kudos to your staff. Not a single complaint yet, and I usually am pretty good at finding things to complain about.
-o.h
To the old lady who always sneered at me at Maxon Video when me and John went in to grab a flick or two… go to hell! I’ll never be back again cause I got ohghurl!
-MLT
Just makes you want to subscribe, doesn’t it?
* Found it in the small Terms of Service link. It’s $28.69/mo for 3 DVDs out. Not available for shipping to address in the Armed Forces, Mississippi, Utah, Puerto Rico, U.S. Virgin Islands, and parts of: Alabama, Kentucky, Mississippi, Nebraska, North Carolina, and Tennessee.
That’s from