This is what I get for using the downstairs (Windows) computer:

…note they chose to use the demur “this update required an automatic restart” rather than the more accurate “we didn’t like that, though you chose to manually run an update, you didn’t click the ‘Restart Now’ button fast enough, so — despite the fact you had your customary 46 browser tabs open — when you left to watch The Big Lebowski we took the opportunity to just reboot the computer without your approval. So fuck you, fuck your open documents, fuck your browser windows. We’ve got holes to plug!”

As I’ve said before, I don’t catch too many TV commercials. So forgive me if I’m a little behind the curve on this one.

Tonight I saw a Pontiac G6 commercial that ended with a Google screenshot and a (Matt Dillon?) voice-over: “But don’t take our word for it. Google Pontiac and discover for yourself.”

Immediately following that commercial was a GMC spot recommending I visit kbb.com to find out how well their “professional grade” vehicles stood up to the competition.

I don’t know if it’s pride or desperation that has GM highlighting ostensibly neutral third parties (hey, beats “wee” trucks that drive underwater) but I welcome it. As usual, though, they could use a little help on the execution.

Because while the Blue Book site might be self-explanatory, I’m really mystified as to what we’re supposed to get out of a Google search for “pontiac”. When I did it, I got the following results:

• Pontiac.com
• Pages about Pontiac, MI and their Silverdome
• A page about the “Pontiac Grille” in Philly
• Several pages about classic Pontiacs
• An ABC review of the Torrent, which Google excerpted thusly: “Hitting the market with little fanfare, the Pontiac Torrent is versatile and functional — but its interior is less than luxurious.”

That, plus there was also a sponsored link for “Pontiac vs. Mazda: MX5NoComparison.com.” (Maybe that’s Ford’s payback for the Kermit thing.)

So what does GM expect me to discover from these results? That at least the old cars have a big following? That ABC doesn’t know what they’re talking about? Or maybe just that I should have clicked through to the second page of results…

P.S. Stay tuned for Pontiac’s next ad: “Don’t take our word for it. Google Fight and see for yourself…

So why am I not in Australia again?

Maybe I’m just an insufferable pedant, but I found this very odd:

Why on earth is “pop” capitalized in this Weather.com graphic? That seems like entirely misplaced emphasis, especially as opposed to, say:

• Did He Pop The Question?
• Did he pop The Question?
• DID HE POP THE QUESTION?!?1!@! (omigod!)

Of course, all of these pale to the more honest approach, which of course would be the headline: “Yet One MORE Thing to Obsess About Before the Big Day”…

Oh for shit’s sake:

Iranians turn on Danish pastries in cartoon row

TEHRAN (Reuters) – Not content with pelting European embassies with petrol bombs to protest against cartoons of the Prophet Mohammad, Iranians have decided to rename the “Danish pastries” relished by this nation of cake lovers.

From now on, the sweet, flaky pastries which dominate the shelves in Iran’s cake shops will be known as “Roses of the Prophet Mohammad,” the official IRNA news agency reported as pressure on Denmark over the cartoons took on a new dimension. […]

Also: Iran is a “nation of cake lovers”? Big surprise. I expect you’d be hard pressed to find a country that wasn’t…

I awoke this morning at my customary hour — at least, I think I did, given that the clock was blinking. Seems we had a power outage this morning. These are not as rare as I’d like, so some time ago I purchased a UPS unit and connected my Mac and Ubuntu machines. Since I tend to have roughly eight billion Firefox tabs open at any given time (have you ever opened so many that they no longer show up? I have), this was a sound decision, but I’m particularly pleased with it today.

You see, I’d left the Linux machine chugging away on a two-pass video transcoding job, reducing a big MPEG-2 video file to a smaller Xvid version. That’s something that takes hours and hours, and you can’t just pick up where you left off after a power loss. So: yay for emergency batteries!

Now I should perhaps investigate this thing known as “backups”…

…you’re driving in the city, and you glance over at the GPS:

Hey there! I’m still alive, just not getting Web access as regularly here as at home.

Anyway, one thing I forgot to mention in the “Unexpected Pleasures” post is a trailer they showed for Apocalypto. I got a good laugh at the latest proof that the post-Passion Mel Gibson has finally completed his descent into full-on batshit craziness.

Good luck with that, Mel!

Free wireless at Orlando International? Sure, it’s slow, but way to go anyway!

I just hope they don’t go talking to the jerks at Logan.

Well, that was a string of events that pleased me:

• I arrived at my Orlando hotel after 10 and fired up the laptop, planning to read some Web pages I’d saved to the hard drive earlier at Pech‘s. (According to both the travel agency and the hotel’s own site, there was no broadband available.) Just to be sure, I did a scan, and lo and behold: free wireless! Which was nice, because…
• I was able to use the Wi-Fi to discover that the Loews at Universal Studios has midnight showings every night. (It’s ginormous, btw: the maximum capacity for the building is 8,000+.) As Universal Studios is just minutes away, I popped in the car, and was soon pleased to discover…
• Parking at the complex, which is posted at $9/auto, is free after 6pm. The discounts don’t stop there, since…
• My ticket was only $8, down from what he originally rang up ($12.) I’m not sure if that represents a midnight discount or just an intial miscalculation on his part, but I’ll take it either way.

Who knew you could do anything at Universal for eight bucks? The money saved should come in handy tomorrow as I skulk around MCO, awaiting my flight back to ORD…

Today Pech and I were waiting in the drive-through and I noticed the Dodge Ram in front of us had Puerto Rico plates. I had to fight off the urge to jump out of the car and ask how such a truck got to Florida.

Later, after some searching, I also became curious about the style. The one we saw was just black and white (plain, no background), had 7 numbers, and read “Puerto Rico” along the bottom edge. It doesn’t match any of these. Must be different for trucks…

Left Chi at 2:30p on Thursday. (All times Central.)

3:03pm Near as I can tell, this is the first indication you’ve left Illinois:

Pretend it says “Welcome to Indiana.”

7:47pm:

10:21pm:

Fri, 12:04am:

Fri, 5:03am:

Well, I have about 1,400 miles to drive in the next 48 hours, so I best get on it. Laters.

Ford to cut up to 30,000 jobs
by Dee-Ann Durbin, Associated Press

DEARBORN, Mich. — Two weeks after he became Ford’s president of the Americas in October, Mark Fields assembled a team to study the company’s brands. He told its members not to report back until they knew what Ford, Lincoln and Mercury stood for.

They never returned.

OK, I made that last sentence up. But it’s what I expected when I read the article.

As a hardcore movie fan, I’ve seen more than my fair share of “behind-the-scenes featurettes,” and I have to tell you, I am amazed at Hollywood. What a talented, mutually-respectful love-in that must be.

Or at least it seems to be that way, given how in every interview, the star always loves the script, the director’s always a genius, every cinematographer’s a master, etc., etc. Gosh, could it be that they’re acting in those, too?

It’s always been my secret dream that some cast will just lose it and say what they really think: the script’s rubbish, the director a hack, whatever.

I’m not holding my breath.

Maybe I’ll just watch skiing instead. Bode Miller clearly doesn’t have those inhibitions, as anyone who read Newsweek‘s “You Don’t Know Bode” can attest (censorship removed):

“The U.S. skiing folks have really done a lot for me. They put up with me, and I push those fuckers hard. I am a constant pain in their ass about making them do all the shit I think they should be doing anyway. They’ve had to adapt to me just like I’ve adapted to them, and I think they’ve done exceptionally well. Look, a lot of the people involved with the U.S. Ski Team—the people that I’m representing—are unbelievable assholes. Rich, cocky, wicked conceited, super-right-wing Republicans. But because of my morals, my principles, I can’t judge them for that. The things they’ve done for me warrant respect, and I’m trying to pay them back.”

I love this guy.

P.S. Did I mention the RV?