Over the weekend I had a chance to see the trailer for Brokeback Mountain, the upcoming Ang Lee movie about two cowboys (played by Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal) who fall in love.

It actually looked pretty good, which means I’m now nurturing a fragile hope that maybe, just maybe, we’ll get a nice little gay-themed movie that doesn’t involve AIDS, coming out, gay bashing, or circuit parties.

Hey, a guy can dream, can’t he?

This weekend, I had a chance to catch up with my good friend Debbie, who I hadn’t spoken to in awhile. I called her on the cell, and so before launching into an extended exchange I made sure she was free to talk. “Well,” she said, “at the moment I’m at the store. Buying underwear, actually.”

“Excellent!” I replied, with gusto. “Perhaps you can settle a question I had…” — at which point I launched into an observation that the previous week’s mail had included a postcard for “1 free panty” at Victoria’s Secret. “Is that right?” I wondered. “Isn’t ‘panty’ like saying free ‘short’ or ‘pant’? Why do we say ‘pair of shorts’, anyway? Is it all about the leg holes?” To which Debs chuckled and said, “Only you could change a visit to the lingerie section into a conversation on weird grammatical rules. I’m so glad you called. I needed my John fix.”

Truth is, I know I get interested in weird little quirks, such as Victoria’s “panty”, or Mike Chertoff’s reference to “‘dewatering’ New Orleans” or the way my local grocery store likes to put up bright yellow signs reading “PRICE DECLINE” when “New Low Price” or “Sale” is shorter and simpler. Often, I can even figure out what might motivate people to make these perhaps odd choices (because “1 free pair of panties” might be construed as two, he’s a pompous ass, and head office said so, respectively.)

Anyway, now that we’ve established that odd things grab my attention, could you indulge me? Take this photo:

This group is the Buy.com affliate team. This is the introductory photo, so you can imagine who’s answering your e-mail or some crap like that. At least, you could, if they hadn’t blurred them out.

Seriously, have you ever seen a team photo that obscures some of the players? I understand why they highlight the front two women, at least — they’re actual Buy employees. The people in the back are employees of the company Buy has contracted to run the program. But isn’t that clear enough just from their relative size and position? Or even in the caption, which separates names by company?

I’d like to say “what were they thinking?“, but as with the other examples, sometimes I’m not sure if these people are thinking at all…

One of the many advantages of Firefox, the better Web browser, is that it’s available for Windows, Macs, and Linux, which makes it essential for people like me who use several different operating systems.

One of the advantages of Linux is that its flexible license and modular nature allow people to create “live CDs“: an entire system on a burned disc, allowing users to run programs without any installing (KNOPPIX being the most famous example.)

A few Linux nerds took both these ideas and created a special Katrina “web kiosk” LiveCD. It’s a slick idea: get people to donate old PCs, hook them up to the internet, and just slide in the disc for a full-fledged Web browser. Since it all runs off the CD, there’s no need even for a hard drive, and even slow computers should work fine. Plus, the Linux license places no restriction on how many copies you make, so as soon as you get a donation, that computer is just a CD-R away from going online. (Contrast this with MS Windows, which requires license keys, “product activation”, “Genuine Advantage” validation — not to mention money.)

Yep, the Linux+Firefox combination seems like a good fit for this need — and in fact, the first center is already online. So what’s not to love?

Well, er, that would be FEMA. Seems the online form to register for disaster assistance is limited to Internet Explorer 6 (Win) only. This bone-headed move (almost certainly due to stupid use of JavaScript) means that while hurricane victims will be able to e-mail their friends and loved ones, they can forget about communicating with their government’s relief agency.

Another excellent decision by the team under the leadership of a fired former director of the International Arabian Horse Association.

On 30 Aug and 31 Aug, planes from the U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration’s National Geodetic Survey (Remote Sensing Division) flew over affected areas in Katrina’s wake, gathering images of the storm’s aftermath. By combining these images with U.S. Geological Service data (including LANDSAT 7 imagery, streamflow information, and a LIDAR survey), scientists will be able to get a sense of the damage wrought.

But what about us mere mortals? The answer, as ever, seems to be Google. For (many) addresses in New Orleans, Google has now provided an overlay of the NOAA images in Google Maps. Zoom in on a New Orleans address and in addition to the usual ‘Map’, ‘Satellite’, and ‘Hybrid’ options, you’ll find a red ‘Katrina’ button. Alternating the ‘Satellite’ and ‘Katrina’ options can make a chillingly effective before and after series. For one example, consider this image (Click the ‘Katrina’ button for a post-flood view.) Those with Google Earth can get an even more sophisticated view.

For an on-the-ground view, the NYT interactive features are blowing me away… (See lower-right box, click “Storm and Crisis.”)

“New Orleans now is abortion free. New Orleans now is Mardi Gras free. New Orleans now is free of Southern Decadence and the sodomites, the witchcraft workers, false religion — it’s free of all of those things now,” Shanks says. “God simply, I believe, in His mercy purged all of that stuff out of there — and now we’re going to start over again.”

So says Rev. Bill Shanks, pastor of New Covenant Fellowship of New Orleans, as quoted by Agape Press (“Reliable News From a Christian Source.”)

The folks at Repent America fully agree:

Just days before “Southern Decadence”, an annual homosexual celebration attracting tens of thousands of people to the French Quarters section of New Orleans, Hurricane Katrina destroys the city. …

“Although the loss of lives is deeply saddening, this act of God destroyed a wicked city,” stated Repent America director Michael Marcavage. “From ‘Girls Gone Wild’ to ‘Southern Decadence,’ New Orleans was a city that had its doors wide open to the public celebration of sin. From the devastation may a city full of righteousness emerge,” he continued.

No word on why God chose to go comparatively easy on the high-sin tourist areas and slam the poor (presumably Christian) minorities with flooding.

The BBC has covered Katrina under a stark headline:

New Orleans crisis shames Americans
By Matt Wells
BBC News, Los Angeles

At the end of an unforgettable week, one broadcaster on Friday bitterly encapsulated the sense of burning shame and anger that many American citizens are feeling.

The only difference between the chaos of New Orleans and a Third World disaster operation, he said, was that a foreign dictator would have responded better.

It has been a profoundly shocking experience for many across this vast country who, for the large part, believe the home-spun myth about the invulnerability of the American Dream.

The party in power in Washington is always happy to convey the impression of 50 states moving forward together in social and economic harmony towards a bigger and better America.

That is what presidential campaigning is all about.

But what the devastating consequences of Katrina have shown – along with the response to it – is that for too long now, the fabric of this complex and overstretched country, especially in states like Louisiana and Mississippi, has been neglected and ignored…

I, for one, am deeply ashamed that our government — at every level — has failed to properly help these people in their hour of greatest need.

As of 1 Sep, residents of all U.S. States are eligible to request a free credit report from each of the major national agencies via AnnualCreditReport.com. I decided to take the plunge, and found the experience to be satisfactory.

I chose to get just one report (from Equifax) and at first I found the information a bit overwhelming — the information is divided into categories (e.g., Personal Information, Credit Summary, Account Information, Inquiries, Collections, etc…) and you must click through a sidebar to reach the different sections.

Fortunately, you can choose the “print this page” link to get a summary view, which I scanned and discovered that:

• my birthday is wrong,
• a credit card I cancelled is still listed as open,
• I supposedly got a Discover Card at age 9 (now where did I put that?), and
• in a truly amazing act of foresight, I apparently opened a J.C. Penney charge account two years before I was born.

On the bright side, at least everything is $0, as it should be.

So I’m checking out The Onion’s new look. Very grid-y, but I like it. Anyway, there’s this box at the bottom with sponsored links:

Look at the bottom left link: “The War At Home begins Sep 11 on FOX.” When I read that, I paused and thought “holy shit, what war? Where?” Then I realized: duh, it’s just some stupid TV show.

But even so, is premiering a comedy called “The War At Home” on September freakin’ 11th really a smart move, fellas?

One month ago, I quoted an e-mail from Blockbuster saying I had to return outstanding discs “by Saturday, October 1, 2005 in order for you to avoid additional charges.”

They lied.

In tonight’s e-mail:

Hello, J,

We have completed your request to cancel your BLOCKBUSTER Onlineâ„¢ 2 month free trial, Unlimited rents membership on Monday, August 1, 2005.

However, our records indicate Osama has not been received, and we have charged your payment card [redacted] $21.19.

If you have already returned the movie, you will be refunded the $21.19 less a $0.00 restocking fee. If you feel you have been billed in error, please contact Customer Care at 1-866-692-2789 between 9 a.m. and 7 p.m. CST Monday through Friday.

Thanks,
BLOCKBUSTER Online Customer Care

I don’t think it all unreasonable to expect that borrowed discs be returned within 30 days of cancellation. I think that’s rather generous, actually. But don’t go telling your customers they have 60 days and then change your mind. That makes you either unprofessional, incompetent, or both.

(As an aside, the other thing that truly annoys me about this error is that the relationship is entirely electronic. How am I supposed to convince a skeptical customer service rep that their systems are actually in error? An easily forged print-out of the e-mail? I have no hard copy of the message, so it’s just a small step up from my word against theirs…)

In “Visa Seeks New Ways to Keep Data Secret“, the NYT takes a look at the challenges involved with securing data throughout the chain that brings information from the little swipe boxes through to the banks.

The story includes this photo of the Visa data center:

Here’s what I’m wondering: what could possibly be displayed on those monitors? Seems they’ve got plenty of screens, but how do you even begin to monitor a system that entails “some 3,000 credit and debit card transactions swiped … every second”? After all:

On any given day, data about Visa cardholders courses through the computer networks of more than five million merchants, hundreds of data processors and 14,000 banks before it even reaches the machines at the Visa operations center. For online purchases, cardholder information can make additional pit stops at any one of the thousands of processing hubs in between.

According to the article, there are 1,000 servers in that data center, used for 35 billion transactions a year. I’m just wondering how you could even begin to decide what would make it to those monitors. Server statistics (temp, load averages, remaining storage)? Transaction details? Phone center traffic? Exceptions to averages? How do you determine when something’s gone wrong? What makes the cut and what doesn’t?

Basically, I’m just glad I don’t have to baby-sit those boxes.

Here’s a cropped frame from a banner ad in Yahoo’s “Talk to Win” campaign (original here):

From what I understand, you can win trips somewhere by doing something. That’s fine. Here’s what I don’t get:

1. Why is Des Moines written as “Demoines”?
2. Why is “Demoines” roughly where MSP is located?
3. Most importantly, who the hell would want a free trip to Des Moines?

I mean, yay Iowa and stuff, but really.

The U.S. military continues its effort to streamline operations, with panels evaluating the closing and consolidation of bases and other facilities.

Apparently, there’s plenty to cut. I wouldn’t know. I can’t claim to know too much about military effectiveness, having gleaned most of my knowledge from reading Tom Clancy and Jane’s as a teen.

I do know a little something about English, and that’s what has me worried. Consider this:

Endorsing the Pentagon’s vision of streamlining support services across the armed forces, the commission also signed off on most recommendations to merge several education, medical and training programs. The Defense Department calls this “jointness” — the services combining their strengths, rather than working separately, to save money and promote efficiency.

Jointness? Somebody needs to get these people a copy of the bullfighter’s guide. What exactly is wrong with “merger”, “cooperation”, “coordination”, “consolidation”, “teamwork”, etc. that inspires the creation of new bullshit words? Answer: everybody wants to maintain their branches and fiefdoms. Which is human nature, to a degree. I just hope they all can spend more time fighting real wars, as opposed to turf wars.

Three months ago, I mentioned that I had begun to clean one of the two rooms in which I spend most of my time:

The other is “the Lab,” which is dominated by computers (presently 5 towers and 2 laptops) and has paper on nearly every surface.

That cleaning isn’t quite complete, but now at last I have a chance to illustrate what I mean by “dominated.” This afternoon I decided to send my dear friend Jesse a picture of my workspace. So I pushed back from the desk and snapped this (click for larger version):

These connect to the towers under the table, which include Debian, Ubuntu, and XP machines. (The Mac mini, my new primary computer, can be seen on the desktop just behind the LCD.) As you might guess, it can get fairly hot in here.

For the record, I don’t usually have 6 monitors, I actually have 2 computers I’m upgrading/transferring here at the moment. On the other hand, this picture doesn’t include the laptops…

The past ten days have been quite emotional for me and my extended families: on the one side, we had a wedding; on the other, a death.

Were I a better, more sensitive writer, I might plumb my feelings on these topics and use them as the basis for posts, perhaps on mortality, relationships, or even on being an atheist when everyone around you is praying for happiness and/or peace.

Sadly, (or perhaps fortunately?) I’m not that good, so now that I’m getting back to posting you’ll just have to expect my usual tech-infused bloviating.

Even in times of turmoil, some things never change.

Now doesn’t that just suck:

Plasma screen TV manufacturers warn consumers of warranty limitations in the event of “screen burn” — literally, an unfortunate casualty wherein the [television network] logo becomes permamently “burned” into the screen as a consequence of the TV being left on the same station for too long.
—Why Bugs Don’t Belong on TV, Design Observer

Ugh, imagine your $7,000 TV with a permanent NBC logo, no matter what you’re actually watching…