I realize this is strange (and the title isn’t helping matters) but I’ve never been wild about news reports that have someone pleading “innocent” to a crime.

It’s a technical point, but “innocent” is not a valid plea because it is not a valid finding — courts don’t exonerate so much as reject for a lack of evidence or an excess of doubt.

Of course, there’s a reason that a Yahoo! (AP) story that actually quotes Peterson as saying “I am not guilty” uses the word “Innocent” in its headline. That would be the AP Style Guide: “Use ‘innocent,’ rather than ‘not guilty,’ in describing a defendant’s plea or jury’s verdict, to guard against the word ‘not’ being dropped inadvertently.” (Courtesy some people who are as anal as I.)

But if there’s really a risk the “not” will be lost, what does that say about the press?

Something about the way Cingular’s home page de-emphasizes (see logo at bottom) its Be Sensible campaign smacks of the liquor ads that say “Enjoy responsibly” in the smallest type — or the car ad that shows a woman hand-surfing the wind as a disclaimer whispers to never stick anything out the window of a moving car.

As for why we need to be told to use common “sence” (or that “driving safely should be [your] first priority,”) that’s a separate kind of stupid. But then what other reason would we have to erect Awareness Tents?

Yep, yep, had a little unscheduled hiatus there. My apologies. I’m back on task.

In a blow for fans of formula teen romances and the three people eagerly awaiting Wing Commander II, Freddie Prinze Jr. says he eventually will stop acting to pursue a writing career.

“I’m going to stop acting in the next few years because it’s just too weird,” Prinze says in the April 19 issue of TV Guide. “You have to constantly be willing to live in a scary, emotional place, which is why actors are in therapy all the time.”

… [H]e plans to turn his efforts to writing and has already written one episode of the syndicated TV series Mutant X. It will air this month.

“People don’t think I can construct a sentence, let alone write a script,” he says.

From Arizona Central.

Today I had occasion to use my favorite part of the Yahoo! Maps service: Find Nearby Businesses. It’s easy; just put in your location, click “Get Map,” and then choose a link on the right-hand side for Yellow Pages, enhanced with information on distance from you.

I’ve used it to determine that there are some 13 Starbucks locations within a half mile of my aunt’s condo in downtown Chicago, and if you want a hotel near the hospital in West Burlington, Iowa, an AmericInn is right down the (same) road.

Of course, these are national chains. You know each Starbucks is (essentially) the same, but what if you search for, say, florists? How do you determine if “Heavenly Flowers by Esther” is any better than “Heritage Heights Flowers”? Without some sort of Epinions rating or Bizrate review, you’re just guessing.

That’s why I am very intrigued about the possibilities for location-based services for cellular phones, and the promise of not only finding a real-word location, but then evaluating it.

Get shitty service? Hit a button on your mobile as you walk out. Unlike the quasi-polls for the pseudonymous Web-surfing masses, we know almost every cell phone corresponds to a single real person. And using that person’s information, we may eventually be able to have phones that say:

Food. Your current location is 700 feet from a McDonald's. But ratings indicate the cuisine is asslike. Try the Pret six blocks south.

Coda. A note to Y! and anybody else who’s doing the location stuff: bring me a “Find Nearest Showing” movie search! B-don and I mourn the demise of (@Home-era) Excite’s movie theater finder. It didn’t assume that the searcher was non-psycho and thus happily listed theaters hundreds of miles away from the searcher’s home ZIP code. In short, it rocked.

“It’s unisex; one-size fits all. A non-returnable garment designed for those dressed to kill.”
— a CNN reporter, moments ago on vests created for use by suicide bombers.

This sort of cutesy quasi-dramatic copy is exactly what’s wrong with TV journalism. It is so lame.

In lieu of actual content, today we present the following picture of David Beckham:

See you tomorrow.

Word to the wise: if you’re trying to insert a USB plug solely by feel, and you note that the usual “device connected” balloon doesn’t appear, the cheerful two-tone notification doesn’t sound, and the plug seems just a bit mushy, take a look ’round the back.

You might be easing your USB drive into an Ethernet port.

CAMP BUSHMASTER, Iraq – In this dry desert world near Najaf, where the Army V Corps combat support system sprawls across miles of scabrous dust, there’s an oasis of sorts: a 500-gallon pool of pristine, cool water.

It belongs to Army chaplain Josh Llano of Houston, who sees the water shortage, which has kept thousands of filthy soldiers from bathing for weeks, as an opportunity.

“It’s simple. They want water. I have it, as long as they agree to get baptized,” he said. — Army chaplain offers baptisms, baths, Miami Herald

Read on to see his backup bribery plan for when showers are installed. (Somebody remind me: what exactly are the duties of a chaplain?)

Some IMDb poster called this film “taught, original, daring, [and] very entertaining.”

Not quite. It was entertaining, and all the more so because Colin Farrell’s attempts at a Bronx accent weren’t always successful. Plus it was fun to imagine Jim Carrey in the flick (rumor has it he was offered it first.)

Of course, there’s only so much you can wring out of the phone booth conceit, and in this case, it was about 81 minutes.

Roy Williams just said “shit” on live national TV! And he was bitchslapping a reporter in the process! I dig it.

It’s not a banner ad or anything, but this guy is freaking scary. It’s like some scary mixture of Edward Scissorhands and those old Intel engineer dudes in “bunny suits.”

I’m not trying to make this more than it is, but I found it very strange that Yahoo! put the death of NBC correspondent David Bloom as the top story in their Entertainment section:

Maybe the Today show isn’t real journalism, but here are the other “Top Stories” in the section:

• Russell Crowe Not So Surly as Wedding Day Nears (Reuters)
• Irishman Farrell Rings Up U.S. Box Office Honors (Reuters)
• ‘Make Luv’ Still Britain’s Favorite Single (Reuters)
• Architect of Sydney Opera House Wins Top Award

I don’t know whether it was classified by a human at Y! or Reuters, but it seems an odd category.

The ads about clever mobile phones abound these days. Download games to one, take pictures with another, play duck-duck-goose (or “gray duck” for our Minnesota audience), etc.

Amidst all this unisex marketing, Samsung has spotted an opening. What if they could release a phone that sported woman-friendly features such as:

• A calorie calculator!
• A “fatness index”!
• A “pink schedule” menstruation calendar!

I’m thinking there’s a reason the specifications aren’t found on the US site.

Hat tip to Ars Technica, where I discovered this. And isn’t the Internet cool? Without it, how would we see what they’re shilling in other countries?

Update [15:12]: Geez, it’s five hundred bucks with two-year contract. (Assuming S$888 denotes Singapore dollars.)

I got this e-mail yesterday, so I had to double-check to make certain it wasn’t a hoax. But no: a company called “Paper Free Technology” is actually e-mailing out invitations for its document imaging seminar.

The catch: “Paper Free” is sending 300K TIFF files, and telling the reader to “print out the 2 page flier attached to this e-mail. Then complete page 2 of the flier with your registration information and fax it back.” If you prefer, the message continues, you can “1. Mail the completed form back; 2. Scan the completed form and e-mail it back; or 3. Call us.”

So you print out a piece of paper to register for a marketing presentation telling you how to use less paper? Have these people never heard of Web forms?