I Retouch Myself?

Every once in awhile, when I’m on a site that has those little “personals” headshots, I play a little game that may indelicately be called “Spot the Homo,” in which I’ll click through to see if a particular smiling boy is a member of the Team.

Such was the case today, when I was on Londonist and encountered this fellow on their home page:
Dude with shiny forehead and glasses

I guessed wrong with him, as you can tell by the “With a: Woman” line (not to be confused with the charming Britishism further down: “Fags: Never”.)

So why do I even mention this? Because if you take a look at this bloke’s profession, you’ll find it’s “Fashion Photo Retoucher.” Fair enough; someone needs to make sure that Lindsay Lohan looks less like, as B puts it, “an emaciated monkey.”

But with that in mind, take a look at this photo again. Is it not terrible? He seems like a good looking guy, yet here there’s one red eye and one blown out by the flash, an uncomfortable shine to the forehead, greasy hair, and let’s not forget the random chick down in the corner (seems to me there’s nothing but downside to including another woman in a personals photo.)

Why would a professional retoucher choose this photo to represent himself? It’s like saying this woman‘s a cosmetologist…

One Response to “I Retouch Myself?”

  1. moogsy queefbone Says:

    you’ll note that in his partner he says:
    Fags:Don’t mind

    so you’re not 100% wrong

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