Forever our JSP
John Stanley Perkins, 48, of Culver City, California passed away in the company of his husband and immediate family on January 9, 2026 after enduring over three years of the ravages wrought by pleomorphic liposarcoma.
John had a gifted intellect and razor sharp wit. He was the guide to whom we routinely turned for answers to life’s tough questions and for help navigating the hard paths. John operated with intention and sincerity that drew out the best in those around him. He believed in community and stewardship of his surroundings. He loved local libraries, chatting with strangers, and diligently watching after what he could recycle or compost.
He was worldly and well-traveled. He fondly recalled his visits to Australia, Great Britain, Bali, Iceland, Thailand, Japan, Italy, Maui, the Caribbean, and—if it was to visit loved ones—the Des Moines metro area. He was well read and well fed, an appreciator of life’s spectrums. John was the man whose day might end with a kitchen table reservation at Alinea or private table at Per Se, but not until he fulfilled his lunch craving of a chili dog from 7-Eleven.
He loved his family and his friends above it all. His people were his core, and the feeling was so deeply and thoroughly mutual. No one enriched his hunger for exploring the highs and lows of life like his husband, Nicholas Grippando. They had been partnered for nearly twenty years.
In addition to his husband, John is survived by his parents, John and Judy Perkins; his sister, Jennifer Wyland (Jimmy Wyland); his brother, Jeff Perkins (Marie Snyder); and his nephew and niece, Jimmy and Jacklynn.
We plan to hold a celebration of life in his second city, Chicago, sometime in the coming months. We ask that if you are inclined to make any financial contribution in John’s honor that you do so to the Sarcoma Foundation of America. If you are eligible and willing, we encourage you to consider making a blood or platelet donation. It is impossible to measure the gratitude we have for those blood and platelet donors who gave of themselves to add those final days and hours to his time with us.
Otherwise, the next time you are dining out with your loved ones, go JSP-style and feed your decadent curiosity with those extra appetizers and desserts. Hit or miss, he’d say you’re worth it.
January 11th, 2026 at 12:57 am
I will love you forever, baby!
January 11th, 2026 at 7:45 am
Although we had spells out of touch I always thought of John as one of my greatest friends.
We met in the “Wake Up” hostel in Sydney where we immediately bonded.
Soon after I was trying to create an IT system from scratch for 3MA and programming isn’t my best skill so I called up John.
I asked him if he’d be willing to work with me. He quoted me a price and included a “and a plane ticket from Chicago”
I wired him the money the next day and bought him a flight.
At the time he was stunned and said nobody had ever trusted him that much never mind paid him in advance.
My faith in him was easily repaid as he came and in 3 months we built a system they still use 22 years later.
John is and remains my smartest ever friend.
The love I have for him endures and finally meeting Nick and getting to spend time with him again was a joy.
There was never and will never be anyone like him.
I will always count him as my greatest friend. In every sense.
January 11th, 2026 at 3:30 pm
Miss you John! Love you.
January 11th, 2026 at 4:05 pm
So many thoughts come flooding back.
“The” blue that filled your closet.
Waking you up for lunch at noon.
So many games of 500.
Road trips
Late night pizzas
Insanely fast typing
Hiding from campus security.
Always ready with some quit wit and a wry smile.
We’ll miss you my friend.
January 11th, 2026 at 6:01 pm
John used to tell me that he felt guilty for being so harsh when we first met. As Jeff’s brother, he had high expectations for whoever entered the 5JP’s circle, and so he apparently put me under some fire. As we became closer, I think he understood me as far more fearless and clear minded as he initially interpreted.
I don’t remember our first encounter in the same way. I perceived John as intelligent and funny and strong willed and brazen. But always authentic first. He never lied, not even to appear more welcoming or convivial. And I always appreciated that.
My love for John, and the whole Perkins family, is woven into my desire for a golden, and entirely unrealistic, familial experience. Like anyone, I want to proudly celebrate our wins, to engage in nuanced discourse, to exchange all the legacy stories, to hug long and deeply, to travel the world together, to cry when life is hard. And we share all these experiences dutifully, without second thought.
I know I will grieve losing John every day. We were co-conspirators and close friends, and I know I am so fortunate to have had such an anomaly of a relationship with my babe’s brother. This life we are gifted is too short, even for those of us lucky enough to have full, loving, and beautiful ones.
January 12th, 2026 at 11:09 am
A few things I think of when I think of John:
___
At St. Edmond High School in the 1990s, there was a “Consumer Economics” class in which students would create a product, sell/purchase stocks in the business, and then profit (or not), depending on the market forces. In the spring of 1996, the school’s boys’ basketball team qualified for the state tournament, and this class, in which John was enrolled, created and sold state tournament T-shirts as their product, enjoying a de facto merch monopoly amongst the Gael faithful. As the story goes — undocumented but presumed factual — John, the precocious shark, purchased an outsize amount of stock and, thus, benefited nicely from the market dominance. (For what it’s worth, it was in religion classes that we were taught the immorality of capitalism. See: Matthew 21:12–17, Mark 11:15–19, Luke 19:45–48, and John 2:13–16.)
___
I have a brother the same age/class as John — one of the few peculiarities Jeff and I share. In college, he found himself cast as an extra in a movie that was filming in Omaha. At some point, he relayed that he got an email from John — who was not at all aware of this — to say he had noticed him in this picture, which John of course had seen at some preview or early screening or something. A love for movies and an eye for detail.
___
In the summer of 2000, John kindly transported Jeff and I and our friend Tyler to Chicago for a couple-day excursion. A thing I vividly remember about the drive there was how incongruent the laws of physics were with John’s desires for acceleration. On every merge or on-ramp, John would tightly grip the steering wheel and kinda rock forward in his seat to try to will some additional momentum for the Perkins family van and more rapidly reach his target over-the-limit speed. Just something that amused me.
___
Assuming the phone line wasn’t busy bc John was online, a common thing Jeff’s friends encountered when calling the Perkins household:
JSP: Hello.
Friend: Is Jeff there?
JSP: Yes.
*prolonged silence*
Friend: *begrudgingly* Can I talk to him?
JSP: Yes.
*more silence*
Friend: *dispirited* … MAY I talk to him?
___
I consider myself so fortunate to have known the Perkinses my whole life, to live in such close proximity to my friend Jeff, to have gotten to know Nick and see him and John on irregular occasion, to revel in the conviviality of a meal out with Jeff, Marie, John, Nick, and my wife. John, to server: “Can you tell us about the ribeye ($125)?” (Mind you, this was brunch.)
Looking back, you realize at some point you transition from bring “Jeff’s friend” to “someone with whom John can have an intelligent conversation.” Or at least tolerate. It was nice to know.
I’ll always admire the admiration he earned from others.
January 12th, 2026 at 12:56 pm
Being John’s brother in-law is a humbling experience to say the least. It’s not often in life you meet someone and almost instantly without question know that person is superior to you in so many great ways. When and if you’re lucky enough to meet such a person I fully recommend paying close attention take notes and you will most certainly be the better for it.
I had the privilege of sharing evenings with John while he came and helped on the night shifts with our twins when they first got home from the nicu. We sat silently on our phones sharing articles or insta reels with each other all while not being able to play out of fear of waking the kids before the next feeding and diaper changes. We both learned a lot on those long nights. It’s something that meant more than I could have ever told or showed him.
If you ever went to a restaurant with him you didn’t need to look at the appetizer section because you knew the whole dang thing was coming, it was also the funniest interaction to watch the waiter or waitress react and ask “do you mean all the appetizers”?
Holidays were always where I had the most fun with John, we both liked to cook and he was one hell of a good cook. There’s not many recipes he wouldn’t break down and try to figure out how to make the ingredients. Marshmallows. If you know, you know.
Myself and Jennifer have the pleasure of watching and parenting over two children who will and have already shown us the great curiosity and compassion that made John such an amazing person to be around.
I don’t know how to end this other than to say. Be Kind, Be curious, Be the change you want to see.
January 16th, 2026 at 11:40 am
Even though we fell out of contact for far too many years, I was always surprised about the number of anecdotes I told people about ‘my friend John, the tallest and smartest person I ever met’.
Many happy memories of John include –
* Eating dumplings whilst hearing about his adventures in Canberra trying to ascertain whether the American ambassador drove an American-made car.
* Cocktails at the top of the John Hancock tower in Chicago, and meeting his family.
* The exaggerated look of disgust on his face perusing the menu at a vegan restaurant (he eventually decided a chili dog elsewhere would be more appropriate sustenance).
* Being introduced to Nick and Jennifer (not Jenny… although I still consider her a friend or mine) in Iceland.
* Getting schooled in the noble art of escape rooms by him and Joe last summer, and being given a false sense of optimism at how darn well he seemed.
John had an infinite curiosity, wisdom and ability to put people at ease in conversation. I will miss him immensely.
January 25th, 2026 at 11:35 pm
I still remember the first time I met John in the 3MA office. We immediately connected over witty banter, a love of all things lazy and food.
You made an indelible impression on me. You beautifully balanced outrageous intelligence, catty remarks and heartfelt care and conversation like no-one else.
I always loved being around you and talking with you. You breathed life into conversation and challenged people to think. I also love that you were willing to change your position with new information.
I was lucky enough to visit you in Chicago in 2004 and meet some of your beautiful family. I have such fond memories of my time in Chi-town including the memorable architectural boat tour and the shame of diabolically low tipping at the Cheesecake factory (my first time) to show our appreciation of the terrible service.
I was so touched that you flew to Aus to our wedding in 2007. My friends who met you that night still talk about how wonderful it was to talk to you. It meant so much that you could be there (and Si!).
We had a great time in NYC with Nick James! Looking at those photos now, we looked like babies. You saved me from being scammed on Craigslist and you were our food captain as we sampled the highs and lows of New York cuisine from terrible hot dogs, to deli delights and deep dish pizza. This is also where we learned ‘and X dish for the table’. We still do this today in your honour.
I also saw my first Broadway show with you, Avenue Q, and was delighted by the songs and swearing.
We sporadically kept in touch over the years, with happy birthdays and life milestones. I remember your excitement and nervousness about your first ‘real’ job, moving in with Nick, and moving to LA.
Life, motherhood and all that goes in between meant our email replies were few and far between. But in 2024 we reconnected and I learned of your diagnosis.
I felt so much regret for all the missed time. I desperately wanted to hang with you and booked a ticket to visit. I will forever be so grateful to you and Nick for graciously hosting me that week.
We spent our time liming at your place. Those days are some of my most precious memories with you. We talked endlessly, and watched Crime Scene Kitchen between 500 supermarket visits. We had our first Waymo experience, bought silly things at multiple EREWHON visits and hunted down Dubai chocolate. We ended my time in LA with a speed tour of LA and a great night with your beloved Nick.
That week filled my heart and kept us regularly connected in 2025. You were an incredible friend to me in that time and I felt so privileged to hear your perspectives, your updates and have my ass kicked in the NYT mini crossword.
I still can’t believe you are gone. I have reached to message you so many times to tell you about something funny or something that reminded me of you.
Thank you, my darling JSP, for all your wisdom, stories, humour, curiosity and care. I am so lucky to be your friend. There is a (very) big John shaped hole in the world and we miss you so very much.
Love you always xx
February 5th, 2026 at 1:04 am
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