The Gift That Keeps on Taking
So I’m checking my credit card balance the other day (eep!) and I see this little gem in the “special offers” section:
Aww, isn’t that sweet? Why not coax a smile out of someone just by GIVING THEM ACCESS TO YOUR CREDIT LINE. No biggie — it’s like a tall glass of lemonade on a hot summer’s day.
I have to say, if the best way to make your special someone smile is with plastic, it might be time to reconsider the relationship. Or at the very least, try a few alternatives first:
- “Have you lost weight?”
- “Let me do those dishes.”
- “Why don’t you take the rest of the day off?”
Not, of course, that a credit card issuer is going to make any of those suggestions. If they were looking to be honest, they would have said so:
June 28th, 2007 at 1:31 pm
I know that as your favorite sister I would definitely smile if you added me to your account. Especially when I have to get all this shit ready for the move. By the way… what are you doing that week?
You know that you are my favorite older brother!!!
July 1st, 2007 at 9:44 am
So you don’t want to make me smile? God, what a dick! How inconsiderate!
July 2nd, 2007 at 12:17 am
Damn, you’re right! Take this down, everyone: 4484 1927… oh, hang on — my iPhone’s ringing.
July 5th, 2007 at 7:05 pm
Sure, get yourself an I–Phone, but when Matt and I want Smashing Pumpkins tickets for their October show in Minneapolis, you’re no help at all. This smile is, in fact, turning upside down.
Confidential to mjg: SP in Twin Cities this October!
July 5th, 2007 at 7:06 pm
jsp, it would make me smile if you could correct that spelling error. No, not that one, the “confidential” one. Thx in advance.
July 10th, 2007 at 8:33 am
Still humming Umbrella? John, what has this world come to? Ella… ella… eh… eh… Dumb ass lyrics!
August 4th, 2007 at 6:23 am
Still humming Umbrella? John, what has this world come to? What a complete idiotic fat dumb ass … set of lyrics. Oh, and if this message looks like it’s insulting you on your main page, it’s completely accidental.
August 6th, 2007 at 5:10 pm
Looks like jsp needs some help updating this page, so I’ll chat about SPumpkins. The SPumpkins added a one-night only gig in London mid-June at a small venue (2,000 tickets only), squeezing it in last minute between a bunch of European festivals. Four minutes before tickets went on sale I checked ticketmaster and nothing moving, so I loaded a world timeclock page and watched it count down. I checked again with two minutes to go as I was getting anxious and everything was sold out. Everything.
Please come back Smashing Pumpkins!
August 6th, 2007 at 5:13 pm
ps IFHBRC
August 6th, 2007 at 5:21 pm
ACK! I can’t get that damn tune out of my head!! Prick.
August 7th, 2007 at 11:58 pm
Hey, did you like Zeitgeist? There are at least 3 tunes on there that are catchier than Umbrella. I disapprove of the Paris Hilton in the liner notes/album art, though.
August 19th, 2007 at 1:58 am
Zeitgeist is good. I still need to give it a few more listens though. Thank goodness I don’t know the umbrella song – it sounds like quite the standard for comparison.
JSP – I watched 36 last night and it reminded me of Babel.
August 26th, 2007 at 10:47 am
PLEASE UPDATE! Seriously, you so need to update this site.