I Couldn’t Resist
I was generating church signs*, if you can believe it, when I clicked my way across to the George Says It site. With all the tools at hand, I just had to give it a go:
Another service from the fine folks who brought you GodHatesShrimp.com (love the banner ad.)
(* My sign actually has nothing to do with my kind of pink. It’s actually a reference to the recent pregnancy of my friend Georgie, who had pink hair the first time I met her.)
May 26th, 2005 at 10:15 am
So, after studying those two bits of leviticus and deuteronomy from godhatesshrimp.com I am quite frightened that I’ll be going to hell. Just imagine all the things that are an abomination according to this line
And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
All the shellfish are right out, the japanese aren’t gonna be happy to know tha t the seaweed for their sushi is getting them sent to hell. Ducks and geese are alive and like to swim but have no fins or scales, though they only spend part of their time in the water, so are they only a problem when they are swimming? Hydroponic tomatoes? What about that water skiing squirrel? Ok so so the squirrel is an abomination for lots of reasons, but still.
Or even more fun is this idea, “of all that move in the waters…” and ” Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.” so does this only apply to living things? because if it doesn’t then boats have to be considered bad news, and if boats are bad news Noah is in deep shit. Sweet buddha, anything in the water without sc ales and fins, didn’t jc ever bathe? Or did he grow scales in order to go for a swim? puts a new spin on the walking on water deal.
Or how about when they do those full body baptisms? So, you are an abomination WHILE you are being baptised? Holy fishsticks.
How do these people keep their heads from exploding?