The Register has reported that “actress”/”singer” Jennifer Love Hewitt is now ready to begin a crucial part of adult life:

Actress Jennifer Love Hewitt has decided to behave like a grown adult now that she’s turned 26 — she finally plans to do her own laundry.
[…]
“It’s time that I learned to do my own laundry, I think. Twenty-six just feels very grown up.”

The following is a public service announcement.

If you see Ms. Hewitt, approach carefully so as not to startle her. Then do your part for humanity. Speaking slowly and clearly, let her know that most operating manuals for washing machines fail to mention a crucial step in getting clean clothes: visual verification of detergent adhesion.

Advise Ms. Hewitt that once the tub fills, she should dunk her head in the water and look to be sure each item of clothing is getting cleaned. An uninterrupted stretch of 3-5 minutes should do the job.

Then go find Paris Hilton.

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