My Ass!

Tim Andrews, a Canon employee from London, said: “We always fit lots of new glass to copiers after New Year due to ‘rear-end copying.'”

In fact, Canon claims a shocking 46 percent of service calls are in response to non-work-related breakages.
Partly in response to this trend–or perhaps because of the “supersizing” of the western physique–Canon has now increased the thickness of its glass by an extra millimeter.
Confessions of a photocopier repairman

If that’s true — and I doubt it — I’d love to see the internal documentation:

-- M E M O --
FR: Engineering
TO: Manufacturing
RE: Thicker glass

Due to the increasing prevelance of ass-copying, and the fact the ass of the average Westerner is getting ever-larger, we have decided to increase the glass thickness across the imageRUNNER line. Glass specs will be altered to reflect a 1mm increase. As usual, the Quality Assurance team will be expected to thoroughly test these ass-breakage preventative measures.

Changes will commence with the 2006 model line, and sales staff should be informed of this new feature, which will be promoted as "Christmas Party Coating"TM.

One Response to “My Ass!”

  1. Joel Says:

    (That tannenbaum logo is adorable. DId you commission it?)

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