I Have the Same Problem

I rarely read IMDb’s celebrity news, but today a tease on the main page about a Hunter S Thompson documentary drew me in.

I’m glad it did, because further down was one of the most amusing headlines I’ve seen in awhile:

Alba Fears Whore Typecast
Movie beauty Jessica Alba fears she is being typecast, because she only gets offered role [sic] as whores and sexy maids. The Sin City actress is grateful for the opportunities she has been given in Hollywood – but would kill for the parts offered to rival actress Natalie Portman. She tells gossip site PageSix.com, “The scripts I get are always for the whore, or the motorcycle chick in leather, or the horny maid. I get all those screenplays that start, ‘Tawnya is in the shower. The water streams down her naked, perky breasts.’ Somehow, I don’t think this is happening to Natalie Portman.”

I love the succinct way that headline boils it down to four simple yet shocking words. In Alba’s defense, though, I’d like to mention that of the few films I’ve seen with her (one of which was against my will — thanks, United!) I’ve never once thought she was acting as a whore. On the other hand — and here’s what distinguishes Jessica from Natalie Portman — I’ve always thought she was horrible at acting…

One Response to “I Have the Same Problem”

  1. The Voyeuristic Mr Pech Says:

    Quick name two actresses who REALLY need to play horny motorcycle maids that like to take showers…

    Further didn’t Portman play a stripper/whore recently?

    besides who the hell is watching Alba for the acting, I say HBO should bring back Dark Angel, and do it up Sopranos/Rome style

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