My Password is My Business

Ever since dumping MBNA, I’ve done business mostly with Citibank, but now I’m regretting even that. First the overzealous fraud department has called me six separate times over a $15 monthly charge (the hosting for this site, actually.) Each time they promise they’ll make a note in the file, etc., etc. then suddenly I find I can’t pay at the pump because they’ve fucked up again and are freezing the account.

It gets worse. I haven’t been able to sign in to the account online site since an “upgrade” over a month ago. I pay everything I can by EFT, and in fact last wrote an actual check on my checking account in 1996, so this is more than a little annoying. As was the tech support jockey, who hurried me off the phone with an annoyed instruction to just re-register the card as if I was activating it for the first time.

Which I tried, just a few moments ago, and failed. Failed twice, actually. The second time was because of some unknown failure, but the first was for something even dumber: an unacceptable password. Citibank defines an unacceptable password in a jaw-droppingly broad way, including:

Citibank Vulgar Language Policy
The Citibank Vulgar Language Policy prohibits User IDs or Passwords containing language that:

  • Is sexually explicit, vulgar or obscene.
  • Is racially or ethnically offensive.
  • Exploits a minor (any person under the age of 18).
  • Defames, abuses or threatens physical harm or death to others or oneself.
  • Represents violence.

We reserve the right to delete User IDs that contain any language contrary to the policy above at any time without consent or warning. A new User ID will then have to be created to access Account Online. Determination of whether there has been a violation of the policy, and whether any action is warranted, is made at our sole discretion. We also reserve the right to make changes to these guidelines at anytime, and you agree to be bound by any changes. Please check periodically for updates.

Got that? If your 6-32 character password contains “vulgar” language, by their definition (which they reserve the right to change without notice), then they’ll kill your account.

Which is a bummer, because right now Death2theCitiFuckers is seeming about right…

P.S. For the record, my pass wasn’t vulgar. I think it was getting mad because I was using my initials (shock!) but due to their cluelessly vague error message, I’ll never know…

One Response to “My Password is My Business”

  1. b Says:

    Reminds me of a few days ago when the student loan site required me to “update” my 14 character password to a 4 digit PIN.

Hit Me With It

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