Not Quite Gotham

For all the boredom and isolation that living in a small town entails, there are also benefits. Today’s paper carried the “County’s Most Wanted,” with 12 people under active arrest warrants still at large. These n’er-do-wells have allegedly committed the following crimes:

  • Sexual Abuse (3rd)/Indecent exposure
  • Violation of probation/Abuse (3rd)
  • Violation of pre-trial release
  • Violation of probation/Burglary/Theft
  • Forgery (3 counts)/Theft (4th)
  • Driving without a license/proof of insurance
  • Assault/Theft (5th)
  • Criminal mischief (4th)
  • Filing a false report
  • Possession of drug paraphenelia
  • Theft (5th) (2 counts)
  • Filing a false report

That’s right, we have a couple of genuine thugs, plus a forger, some false reporters, petty thieves, and my favorite, 28yo Jana M. Pringle, who’s wanted for “criminal mischief”. They only have photos for half of this list, and though Jana was spared the indignity of a skeezy likeness, she still probably wishes they proofed it a little longer.

That is, unless she does weigh 1,505 lbs.

3 Responses to “Not Quite Gotham”

  1. b Says:

    12 people to catch and they want the public’s help? Do you have the laziest cops in america?

  2. jsp Says:

    Well, remember these are most wanted, not all wanted. (But yeah, it’s possible…)

  3. b Says:

    Well i’m going to assume that a most-wanted list that includes possession of drug paraphenelia and driving without a license is exhaustive. (Are there any arrestable offenses more minor than these? I can’t think of any…)

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