I Promise I Won’t Subject You to This

A company called, oddly, “Serious Magic” wants to start a new trend: video blogging, or, in the rather painful neologism they have conceived, “Vlogging.” (I’m not even sure how to pronounce that.)

media player showing bald guy with zany TV-esque background. overlay: video + blogging = vlogging

All it takes, according to the serious magicians, is the purchase of their “Vlog It!” product and you’ll be faux-newscasting like a champ. Why, just listen to this ringing endorsement from the WashPost: “…generates a personal video that looks much like a regular TV newscast or documentary.” Actually, that’s what the Post said in a photo caption, a fact you’ll have to resort to Google to learn. (The magicians don’t link to the article.)

Anyway, let me just take a stand (even without being able to watch the demo video, as it’s not Linux-friendly) and say I oppose this trend. Blogging is supposed to be for those of us can dole out the bon mots, carefully crafting quips and witticisms for you, the adoring public. The interweb was our refuge from the cruel world where the pretty people rule. Now they’re going to come roaring into this last bastion.

I think my African American friend on the company’s home page knows what I’m talking about:
cropped version of Serious Magic homepage
(cropped version; full screenshot which also reveals my rampant addiction to tabs)

Seriously, what is this dude doing? At first I thought he looked pissed, which I thought was an odd choice for a happy-fun-buy-stuff page. Then I realized he was actually sad, nay, mournful at the prospect of blogging overrun by visual tyranny. “Please,” he seems to silently plead, “get me out of here!”

I hear you, friend. I hear you.

Hit Me With It